Reassessment...

In a previous post I wrote of the 'evidence' I saw that hubby will not be left behind in the upcoming Shift...  I mentioned that to my friend Z (the one who taught me to hug to the right), and he challenged my argument: in his view, the 'evidence' was of me rationalizing hubby's lack of interest in spiritual matters.  Of course I wanted to object right away, but I'm perfectly willing to consider that I may be wrong.

So I challenged myself to open my mind and further consider the possibility that hubby and I are growing apart.  How could I find this work so important, and yet not be able to even talk about it with the one I'm supposed to be sharing my life with?  It was *not* easy to think about this, but I do believe in questioning from time to time whether this relationship still nourishes my spirit. 

In addition to hubby's aversion for "spiritual talk," it seems like he's just going through the motions of life these days: he doesn't actually enjoy anything he does.  He spends most of his free time at the computer, playing Dungeons and Dragons Online (DDO) with a group of friends.  But even though he really enjoys Role Playing Games (RPGs), he doesn't seem to have fun much of the time because the other players' gaming style bugs him.  And this lack of enjoyment had a direct impact on me the day we attended a friend's wedding: I wore a dress that I personally thought looked very nice, but he didn't say anything about it.  He was annoyed at me because my "stuff" was all over part of the house and he was having trouble walking around it (I admit - I'm a slob), but he hadn't said anything to me so I didn't realize how much it bothered him.  I've been busy with work, and it bothers me as well that my "stuff" is everywhere, but most of the time I assume he's being understanding because I'm working on a very challenging project at work.

I looked within myself and determined that I have to speak up.  The focus in my life now is to raise my vibrational energy and enjoy every single moment of my human experience.  In order to remain married to hubby and have a relatively peaceful co-existence, I would need to suspend all that I'm learning and working towards so I could meet him at his lower vibrational level.  In this case, because we're talking about the vibrational frequency of energy, it literally would entail "lowering myself to his level."  NOTE: I am not judging him or his behavior, but in terms of hertz (i.e. cycles per second), I am indeed going for a higher (bigger) number and he's staying at a lower (smaller) number.

I worked up the courage to talk to him honestly and openly.  I let him know that I want to share with him all this "new age" stuff that I'm "into" because I'm working towards making that an integral part of my life.  To work on my spiritual growth yet not be able to talk to him about it at all would be living a two-faced reality in my book, and that is simply something I am not capable of doing.

Long story short, we're getting there.  While he's still very much averse to talking "spiritual shop" with me, at least he seems more engaged in life now.  I'm evaluating if maybe there is a way to be life partners even if he's not interested in New Age topics: it's possible that pursuing happiness or some sort of joy in life could raise his vibrational frequency to a "half-way" point where we can meet.

Regardless, I'm not keeping my spiritual pursuits to myself any longer: there is way too much evidence, and I need to embrace my role as a Lightworker :-D.

Peace and Love,
Serenity Joy

Relationships and Lightworkers

It is not until you have the courage to engage in human relationships that you grow. ~ Gary Zukav


On the same day of this message from Gary Zukav, I had my first Lightworker-to-Lightworker interaction with a co-worker at my "day job."  I'll refer to him as "Z".  Z told me about a friend whom he described as being afraid of being in a relationship... essentially, Z's statement mirrored the very message Gary Zukav was posting.

In a parallel vein, I've been concerned that as I seek to raise my vibrational frequency to match the Earth's evolution, I may "leave my husband behind."  Hubby isn't into spiritual work - he's very much a person of five-sensory empirical evidence.  He respects me and loves me enough to not judge or criticize my spiritual pursuits, but he doesn't really want to be a part of it.

Does this mean he'll "stay behind" when the Shift happens?  Fortunately, the answer is a resounding "No."  Here's my evidence:

1) Hubby loves me in a way I had never experienced before.  Because of his love, I've been better able to connect with our Spirit nature.  How could he possibly not be a highly evolved soul?  He's truly my spiritual rock!

2) After Z and I chatted, we hugged, but he made a "correction" to my hug: instead of placing our heads to our left, he switched so our heads were to our rights.  He described this as the better position energetically* and commented that I hug firmly ("with gusto" and openly).  Later that night, as I reflected on the interaction with Z, I recalled that Hubby is a "hugger" - before we ever met, his mode of comforting friends was via hugs, even signing e-mails with "Hugs," where many of us use "Love,"...  And then it dawned on my: what if Hubby designed this personality to purposely be "anchored" in a five-sensory experience because, being so highly evolved, connecting to his Higher Self would be too much for this physical body!

So, I can stop worrying about him - he's making the Shift along with Earth.  Maybe he's physically most of he the time because he's so busy on "the other side." 

Can you feel how much lighter I feel now?  I was ecstatic when I realized Hubby is a Lightworker in his own right and in his own way.

The title of this post started as "Relationships" because I was prompted to come here by Gary Zukav's message and the connection to my conversation with Z.  I added "and Lightworkers" to connect it to the "punchline" of this post - in writing this, I've realized that Lightworkers come in all forms.  Not all Lightworkers look like Lightworkers - Hubby most certainly does not fit the mold of a "typical" Lightworker.  And yet his is one just by being himself.  Yippee!!

Peace and Love,
Serenity Joy

*Hug to the right to avoid entangling energies?  I do have to research that and will post my findings at a later date.

Am I looking too hard?

I feel completely out of sorts...  Not long ago I was so sure of my purpose in being human.  Now I wonder if I'm going to be left behind when the Shift takes place...

Am I really a Lightworker, or am I suffering from an inflated sense of self?  Why can't I "see"? 

I've been reading "The Three Waves of Volunteers" by Dolores Cannon, and the description of the second wave of volunteers resonates with me.  I was so sure just a couple of weeks ago that I am indeed part of this second wave, and thus my primary purpose is to help raise the Earth's vibrational energy by simply being.  But the faith I had found just a couple of weeks ago now eludes me...  Why can't I remember myself in my true nature?  Why am I having such a difficult time now?

I ask the Universe for help: I want to find my faith again.

[From a session with Janine Sousa at Healing Touch]
"What vibrational energy do I need to be to feel connected to Source?  Anything that stands in the way, delete, un-create, destroy across all time, dimension, space, and reality."

Receiving a message through dreams

A week ago, I asked my guides to send me messages during my most receptive state: while I'm asleep.  While I won't describe the dreams in detail (largely because they were pretty graphic, violent, and disturbing), here are the things I found in common to both dreams:

• Terribly "bad" things were being done to two young brothers, whose ages were about 2 and 6
• Their mother or a mother-like woman was present yet indifferent to their suffering
• The things happening to the children would result in bodily and psychological harm, but not enough for them to die, at least not right away...

I've been focusing on being non-judgmental about seemingly "bad" things happening to good (or innocent) people. So, I challenged myself to look at these events not as "evil to be eradicated," but as part of those souls' plans for growth during their human incarnation...

I consciously re-visualized my dreams and aimed to look at the children's suffering not as cruelty and injustice, but as courageous choices made by their souls in order to "fast track" their evolution.  Upon interpreting the events as planned opportunities for growth, I also stopped seeing the people "doing" the bad things to those children as "evil" - instead, I saw them also courageous souls for accepting to bear the burden of "inflicting" the pain that would set the stage for the (potential) Spiritual Growth. 

So what message were my guides sending me?  Well, my mother tried to cause a miscarriage when she was pregnant with me.  And although I was never physically abused, I also was rarely, if ever, shown unconditional love when I was growing up.  I thought I had gotten past the anger and resentment over those events, but I still hold back loving my mother unconditionally and truly forgiving her.  There have been plenty of times when I think "she's lucky I even talk to her!"  

Well, it's time to truly "let her off the hook."  At the soul level, this was the agreement we made and I am grateful to her for playing the "bad guy" in this lifetime for me.  I needed her to set the stage for me to remember my true nature: for me to dig deep and see that I am pure Love and Light inside.  I needed her to show me that Love doesn't come from others, but it comes from within - it's what we are all made of.

Thank you, Mother, for agreeing to play this role in my life.  I can't imagine how difficult it was to be the recipient of my wrath as I found my way, but I see now the immense Love behind your actions.  I know you tried to bail out of our agreement, and I'm glad it didn't work because your Soul also needed this experience to grow.  It is now time for you to forgive yourself and, most of all, LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.  I certainly love you unconditionally.

The beginning of this blog

Welcome to my blog.

While my "legal" name is not Serenity Joy, this is the name I've given my higher self to reflect the state I want to project to those I encounter.

My goal in posting to this blog is to share my experiences in this Journey called "life on Earth."  This blog will be very "New Agey," and it will resonate with some readers and give the hibbie jibbies to others.

I'm starting this blog because yesterday, during an Akashic Records Reading at Healing Touch, I got the message from my Spirit Guides that I am indeed a "Beacon" of Light from Spirit: this reinforced the mission I had set for myself to remain connected to Spirit, tap into the Light and Love of which we are all made, and just let that energy flow through me and on to everyone I encounter.

Primarily, I focus on channeling this energy at work: even though I have a "regular" job in an Engineering and Manufacturing company, I aim to perform my "human" tasks with a lightness and joy that shows those around me how things can be done.  In other words: it is NOT necessary to have a profession as a Light Worker in order to be a Beacon of (Spirit) Light.
Although I admit to a bit of (healthy?) jealousy of those who can make a living as professional Light Workers, such as Janine Sousa of Healing Touch, who accessed the Akashic Records for me :-).

So, for now I must depart, but I will aim to post things as they happen in case you find this helpful.

Wishing you all Peace and Love...
Serenity Joy