Be your own hero

I started reading (well, really flipping through) my copy of  "Four Word Self Help" by Patti Digh.  I like her comparison of this "technique" to haiku writing: in both cases, a lot of meaning is conveyed in very few words...


So what am I telling myself with "Be your own hero"?
 
Paraphrasing merriam-webster.com's definitions for the words "hero" and "heroine," these are some of the meanings for this word:
(sidebar: I was surprised that the definitions for these words are not *identical*)
 
1a) a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability1b) an illustrious warrior
1c) a [person] admired for his [or her] achievements and noble qualities
1d) one who shows great courage

2a) the principal character in a literary or dramatic work
2b) the central figure in an event, period, or movement

Let me switch to telling myself to "be my own heroine" in exploring the meaning associated with some of these definitions.

1a) Figure of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
Telling myself to 'be my own heroine' is a call to remember my divine nature (all humans are divine).  Recognizing, embracing, nurturing, and cherishing this divinity results in a fortitude of spirit for me, and this in turn promotes a sense of safety from which I feel capable to do whatever I may be called to do.  I will always remember the words from my yoga instructor, that "divinity is not 'out there' but rather it is something found inside of us."  I feel my divinity in my heart: it's my connection to Source, and somewhat ironically my ability to sense this connection is directly proportional to how grounded I am in my human body.  In other words: "in-body" experiences strengthen the connection to my divine spirit.
Message to self: "be your own heroine" by increasing your connection to divine spirit via more "in-body" experiences.

1b+d) An illustrious warrior; one who shows great courage
Challenges I encounter tend to be of two types:
- Actions in alignment with my core values are sometimes unpopular or difficult to carry out
- Helping others sometimes depletes my inner resources
To 'be my own heroine' I must have the courage to be genuine and take actions that are aligned to my core values, and I must do so responsibly to ensure I don't burn out prematurely.  I am to have a long life of meeting challenges head on and successfully overcoming those challenges: it's not sufficient to have the courage, I must also produce results.


2a) The principal character
**I matter.**
My role in this time and place is to serve Earth and humanity as a bridge and a filter (see Why am I not extraordinary?), and this includes a responsibility to myself to experience all aspects of this journey.  All the work I am doing will be balanced by restorative play time.

So, these are some of the meanings behind the message to myself to "by my own heroine."

Peace and Love,
Serenity Joy

Why am I not extraordinary?

For as long as I can recall, I've wished to somehow be "extraordinary."

1) As a young girl, I wondered why the Virgin Mary didn't appear to me - wasn't I good enough?  I tried so hard to "pray right" - to prevent my thoughts from wandering and think carefully about each word in the three prayers I said nightly so that I could actually mean it.

2) As a young adult, I thought my life was sufficiently "interesting in a messed up way" that I would be a Psychology case study.

3) When I first started my Spiritual Studies, I wished so badly to have "psychic abilities" (I guess that goes hand-in-hand with #1).

4) When I read about past lives and aliens, I tried to "will" in me the ability to move across space, time, dimensions, and realities to remember.

I've taken courses and read books on a variety of topics on the human experience, and these are some of the things I believe without hesitation:
- Human form is a manifestation of my true nature as pure Energy
- Energy can take on many forms and vibrates at numerous frequencies
- Higher vibrational frequencies are "felt:" the higher the frequency, the lighter the feeling (and vice-versa)
- Human form is not the only form I've taken: I have manifested in physical form on other world(s)
- Spiritual Guides, Ascended Master, and alien species are all real to me, although I have no proof of this other than their existence makes sense to me
- Earth is a living being and she is making a transition in energy

It's not my intent to list all my beliefs here, just to set the tone for the rest of this post.

So if I do believe all these things, why am I not able to see these things my own eyes?  Why can't I remember past lives or experiences aboard space crafts?  Why don't I see "apparitions" of my guides?  Why can't I see auras?  What am I not extraordinary?

All the courses I've taken and books I've read focus on "the other side" and how to "rise above" the human experience and its suffering.  I've tried to be enlightened and Zen about this whole living thing, but it just doesn't work for me.  So what am I doing wrong?

Well, maybe I'm not *meant* to be enlightened and Zen about being human; maybe my job is to be fully present in this human experience.  What if I don't have to be fully Zen and always "Miss Perfect who does no wrong"?  What if I'm supposed to be just like everyone else in this sense.  I like this... I officially give myself permission to be fully human, meaning:
- It's ok to be judgmental of other drivers, so long as they and I stay safe (no giving the finger just because their driving sucks)
- It's ok to need external validation once in a while - it's human nature!!
- It's so very ok to indulge in yummy fried food or meaty morsels - no vegetarian, raw, and/or liquid diets for me!

At the same time, I recognize and embrace my role in this time and place as:
- Bridge: I am human so that I can connect other humans
- Filter: I draw energy from Source, convert it to "humanphilic" form, and radiate it

So, that's why I'm not extraordinary - at least in the way I was looking to be.

Peace and Love,
Serenity Joy