A week ago, I asked my guides to send me messages during my most receptive state: while I'm asleep. While I won't describe the dreams in detail (largely because they were pretty graphic, violent, and disturbing), here are the things I found in common to both dreams:
- Terribly "bad" things were being done to two young brothers, whose ages were about 2 and 6
- Their mother or a mother-like woman was present yet indifferent to their suffering
- The things happening to the children would result in bodily and psychological harm, but not enough for them to die, at least not right away...
I consciously re-visualized my dreams and aimed to look at the children's suffering not as cruelty and injustice, but as courageous choices made by their souls in order to "fast track" their evolution. Upon interpreting the events as planned opportunities for growth, I also stopped seeing the people "doing" the bad things to those children as "evil" - instead, I saw them also courageous souls for accepting to bear the burden of "inflicting" the pain that would set the stage for the (potential) Spiritual Growth.
So what message were my guides sending me? Well, my mother tried to cause a miscarriage when she was pregnant with me. And although I was never physically abused, I also was rarely, if ever, shown unconditional love when I was growing up. I thought I had gotten past the anger and resentment over those events, but I still hold back loving my mother unconditionally and truly forgiving her. There have been plenty of times when I think "she's lucky I even talk to her!"
Well, it's time to truly "let her off the hook." At the soul level, this was the agreement we made and I am grateful to her for playing the "bad guy" in this lifetime for me. I needed her to set the stage for me to remember my true nature: for me to dig deep and see that I am pure Love and Light inside. I needed her to show me that Love doesn't come from others, but it comes from within - it's what we are all made of.
Thank you, Mother, for agreeing to play this role in my life. I can't imagine how difficult it was to be the recipient of my wrath as I found my way, but I see now the immense Love behind your actions. I know you tried to bail out of our agreement, and I'm glad it didn't work because your Soul also needed this experience to grow. It is now time for you to forgive yourself and, most of all, LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY. I certainly love you unconditionally.
